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Archive for the ‘Masturbating at Early Age’ Category


THESE ARE SIGNS THAT MAY MEAN AN INDIVIDUAL IS BEING INCESTED OR WAS INCESTED IN THE PAST.  THEY MAY POINT TO OTHER PROBLEMS AS WELL, BUT THE GREATER THE NUMBER OF THEM THAT APPLY TO A PERSON, THE MORE LIKELY INCEST IS RESPONSIBLE.

Whether the behavior changes are sudden or gradual they must addressed and understood.  These changes include a wide range of conduct including:

-Aggressive/boisterous behavior- hitting, pushing, yelling at others, throwing tantrums…any of these can be the result of holding in the confusion, fear and anger caused by incest and releasing it on others around them.

-Isolation-wanting to be alone,  uneasiness/anxiety around others, hiding behind a loved one, hiding in closets and other small areas, running away,

-Sleep problems-fear of bedtime, anxiety about being alone in a room, nightmares(especially of being chased or seeking a place to hide), bed wetting

-Site Anxiety/Fear/Avoidance-fear of a particular place or room in home…often bedroom, bathroom, attic, basement or cellar, garage, shed or other area where the incestor has more privacy and less chance of being discovered

-Extended Sadness/Depression-especially if child is unable to explain why they feel the way they do,  the “secret” of incest is too heavy to bear

-Religious zealousness-person absorbs themself in religion to the point of obsession

-Unusual bathroom habits-refusal to defecate(may sit on floor in bathroom to hold bowel movements in), hiding behind fixtures, soiling themself with feces

-Avoidance of individual/certain activity-if a person shows anxiety or fear about seeing someone or about going anywhere alone with that person, making excuses to stay away or pretending to be ill

-Early age masturbation-especially compulsive behavior or masturbating publicly

-Play Behavior with sexual overtones-holding dolls in sexual positions, speaking for dolls using phrases or words that are not age appropriate

-Low self-esteem-feelings of worthlessness,  saying they are a “bad” person, but not being able to say why

-Inability to swallow pills-if a person is unable to take a pill orally when it is common behavior at their age, it may be a resistance to oral activity tied in with the fear of forced oral behavior during incest

-TMJ-initials for trans-mandibular jaw disease-very painful condition where jaw moves into unnatural positions or unlocks…this may begin as a reult of the mouth being forced open

-Cruelty to animals or insects

-Self-Injury-tearing skin, picking or biting nails, pulling hair/eyelashes/eyebrows out, cutting skin, burning skin

-Suicidal talk/thoughts/behavior

-Desire to change name-indicates an inner compulsion to rid oneself of the name that has been tarnished by incest and the pain associated with it

-Body memories-even if the mind has repressed/blocked the memory of incest…the body does remember and discomfort, unexpected urges and body aches can be signs of what happened

-Eating disorders- anorexia, bulemia, overeating to cover the pain, becoming obese to make oneself less sexually desirable…all these can be caused by incest

-Alcohol/drug abuse-often used as a way to escape trauma of any type

-Obssessive Compulsive Disorder-(OCD)-the need to obssessively clean oneself or ones surroundings, to repeat checking locks, making sure the stove and iron are off etc. can all stem from incest and the need to have control over things when we have experienced “being totally controlled” against our will

-Sexual addiction/sexual frigidity-going to either extreme can mean that incest has damaged our self image

-Wearing loose, baggy clothing-attempting to hide/protect ourselves from sexual advances

-Fear of abandonment-accentuated because  incest perpetrators frequently use  threats that family will be destroyed if the victim tells anyone of the incest

-Inability to trust-often difficult to ascertain, but trust is destroyed by incest

Please write me with any comments, questions or suggestions you may have.  I’m very open to hearing your thoughts and your experiences!

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1. Personality Change- Child previously outgoing and friendly becomes withdrawn and fearful

2.Fear of the Dark /Nightmares- Incest often occurs in the cover of night and nightmares often serve as the gateways for fears to emerge 

3. Unusual Play Behavior- Watch for any behavior that is unusual and mimics any aspect(s) of sexual acts

4.Early Masturbatory Behavior-Children that are masturbating before puberty may be acting out sexual abuse

5.Unusual Bathroom Behavior-Children resisting defecation, hiding behind tub, child experiences anxiety around going to the bathroom

6.Inability/Difficulty Swallowing Pills- Often the body’s instinctive resistance to any oral behavior that reminds it of oral sexual activity

7.Vaginal Infections, Rashes – Physical or psychological signs of possible incest

8.Bruising /Cuts- Bruising may be a  sign of force used in sexual activity.  “Cutting” is a severe response to the overwhelming mental harm of incest.  The abuse victim may cut themselves to cause pain that diverts them from the greater pain of the incest abuse.

9.TMJ/Jaw or Mouth Pain-  These symptoms can result from the pain of oral incest

10.Religious Zealousness- The incest victim may find a refuge from their trauma in seeking God usually in an obsessive manner

11.Alcohol/Drug Abuse- Alcohol and drug abuse is very common in incest victims.  They use these drugs to numb themselves from the awful realities they face.

12.Suicidal-  All too often, the victim of incest will feel so trapped that suicide seems to be the only way to escape the agony being forced on them

13. Body Issues- A victim often never feels at home in their own skin.  They may try to cover their body with large size clothes or more layers of clothing to hide any suggestion of sexuality.  They may neglect their body in an attempt to show contempt for its use by the abuser.

14. Eating Disorders in the form of bulemia or anorexia often result from incest because they involve taking control over the body that was denied them during  incest.

15. Phobia’s of all types can be the result of incest and have been triggered during the incest experience.

16.  Desire to change one’s name-results from feeling tainted and dirty and wanting to start over brand new

17. Blocking out Time Periods-  If a person does not have memories from a period of their childhood, it may be that they are repressing trauma that resulted from incest

18. Feeling Different from Others/Misfit

19. Feeling that You are Carrying a Secret

 

MEDICAL CONDITIONS THAT OFTEN RESULT FROM CHILDHOOD INCEST

 

1.Depression- Often found in persons that are experiencing incest or have been incested in the past.  Feelings of despair, emptiness and low self-esteem

2. Obssessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)- Behaviors taken to the extreme where the mind cannot seem to get a sense of completion.  A person may wash their hands over and over until they are red and raw because they aren’t getting a feeling of reassurance that enough has been done.  Other common behaviors that often become obssessive or compulsive are cleaning to get rid of germs, checking locks over and over trying to get a sense of safety and having a magic number that requires you to complete tasks that number of times.

3.ADD- Attention Deficit Disorder makes it difficult for a person to maintain concentration on a task

4.Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)- The trauma of incest often results in this disorder which was originally identified with the    aftereffects  of  combat.  A person suffering from PTSD is easily startled and easily overwhelmed due to the impact of the traumatic events they have endured.  Their stress levels are generally much higher than a person who hasn’t been traumatized and they may experience  flashbacks of the trauma.

5.BiPolar- Also known as Manic-Depressive- This condition results in a person’s mood fluctuating from high (manic) to low (depressive) states.  This can be a quick fluctuation or a long and extended change from one phase to another. 

6.Anxiety Problems- Panic attacks and anxiety attacks are commonly experienced by those who have experienced incest.  Anything that reminds them of the traumatic experiences or raises their safety alarm will bring on these attacks of anxiety.

7.Personality Disorders/Borderline Personality Disorders-  Includes multiple personality disorder

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